Things You Should Learn from An Educated Man On His Dating Experience
Leo is a conservative, educated British businessman – a sales executive who frequently travels the Far East for his company. He has been married for 22 years to the same woman, and has a teenage daughter getting ready to go off to University.
On a trip to Bangkok last year, his curiosity drove him to a bar in the Sukhumvit district. He had a drink or two, and was charmed and flattered by 25-year-old Kamlai. He bought her a few drinks, and at her insistence, returned the next night. She convinced him there was “chemistry” between them, and asked him to call her on his next visit to Bangkok, six weeks later, telling him she would count the days until his return.
Leo was completely taken aback when she answered the phone, as Kamlai wept with joy at his call. They met at the bar, and then she invited him to her apartment where they eventually made love. Over the next several days, they spent more time together. Leo was honest, telling Kamlai about his wife and daughter. And Kamlai talked about her family –how having to send money to them was preventing her from getting the kind of education that would help her escape the bar scene and make more money. Leo asked what kind of education Kam wanted, and she told him about a legitimate school that would certify her in therapeutic massage. If she could get that education, she said, she could join her cousin at a high-end beauty spa.
As Leo left Bangkok, he gave Kam 60,000 baht (about $2,000 US) to enroll in school – and he gave her his office and cell phone number and private email address.
They spoke over the phone as often as twice a day, and Kam assured Leo she was doing well in school, attending full time, and not working at the bar any more. She begged to see him again, and ended every call weeping “when are you coming back to Bangkok?”
Leo confessed to his friends that he knew he was in trouble – because he was madly, passionately, crazy in love with Kam. “This kind of thing is like a dream – it has never happened to me before!” he posted on one of the many expat blogs in Bangkok, appealing for advice from the community. The experienced expat community spent weeks trying to talk some sense into Leo, pointing out the trap he was in and its likely consequences – to himself, to his wife, and to his daughter.
Yet Leo wouldn’t be persuaded. He went back to Bangkok three more times, each time giving Kam presents of cash for her “education” and “household expenses.” She called him at his office, sometimes leaving as many as 15 voice messages on his answering service in a day. She emailed daily, swearing her love and begging him to come back.
A good-hearted member of the expat community volunteered to talk directly with Leo over the phone, and convinced him to walk away, saying the situation was bound to end badly. Leo admitted to having sent tens of thousands of dollars to Kam, justifying it by saying “But I have so much, and she has so little – and she’s really a good girl!” Leo’s friend finally convinced him to end it completely, at which time Kam played the most emotionally manipulative card in the bar girl’s hand, saying, “But I love you. I’m only going to school for you. If you leave me I’ll be forced to go back to the bars. I’d rather kill myself!”
Shaken and humiliated by guilt, Leo wired a deposit of $38,000 US to Kam’s bank account, and then spent a weekend changing his phone numbers and erasing all email evidence from his computer, eventually choosing to see a therapist to help him get over his obsession. He finally felt strong enough to schedule another business trip to Bangkok.
When he called Kam again.
Unfortunately, Leo’s wife found out about his obsession, and their (costly) divorce is in the works.
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