What Does Thai Value: “We” Means?
In her “We” culture, your Thai lady’s parents raised her to be a dutiful daughter, to put aside her own needs to support the needs of the family, extending out to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. They stressed family achievement, family status, and family interests. They encouraged her to be a kind, loving, and willing participant in building the family’s success. If they were good parents, they trained her to love her family unconditionally, sharing whatever resources she could to help the family succeed and thrive. They taught her there was no need to “make it on her own” –that if she was loyal, they would always protect and provide for her.
In the course of her education, her whole purpose was to learn something useful – to learn how to “do” a skill that would be of value to her family. And she knows that any degrees or certifications she earns over the course of her education add esteem and status to her family. She learned to avoid conflict, seek the peace, and preserve harmony by withholding any personal opinions that might cause offense to the group.
In the world of work, her Thai “We” culture creates relationships between bosses and employees that are almost paternalistic, with the boss taking on the role of an elder “family” member and the employee assuming the role of a dutiful daughter. Promotions, raises, and status are given out based on her membership in the right “group” or the status of her family. Her family celebrated when she grew into a respectful, dutiful adult, knowing they had raised her successfully. As an adult, nothing is as sacred to her as being true to her family and helping them in whatever ways she can. And in her “We” culture, any woman who demands to leave the nest and make it on her own is somehow flawed. Her parents are proud of her for continuing to live at home and help them.
In her “We” culture, it’s so important to be loyal to and support the extended family that if SHE has kids, she’ll pass that drive on to them, instilling in them the importance of being subservient to the family. If she, as a parent, ever becomes unable to take care of herself, the first place she’ll want to look for help is from her adult kids. And as an adult child, she’ll feel uncomfortable, even humiliated, at the thought of asking for help from her parents. In her Thai “We” culture, there is no such thing as privacy. The group (her extended family) has the right to pry into any area of her life (or anyone else’s, for that matter) that interests them. A harmonious relationship and peaceful consensus with her family or “group” are the highest goals she can achieve.
In her world, that’s “just the way it is.” It’s “right.” It’s “true” that the family is the most important element of a successful society. Nobody questions it. Everybody knows it.
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