Understanding Thai Value: “In Time” Could Make Your Relationship Last
If time is a shape-shifting sphere that contains every event or task, then anything is possible – because everything exists “in time.” In such a sphere, “early” and “late” are concepts that are only relevant when compared with everything else.
And if time is a sphere, it becomes possible to focus on many things at once as they slide into and out of your perception simultaneously. It’s a natural thing in Thailand to be able to focus on many things at once – and those born to our culture accept it as “real.” After all, everybody knows that you shift time to accommodate relationships, which are always more important than whatever task is at hand.
With such a “spherical” focus on time, it’s important in Thai culture to shift the schedule to be more available to those people that are most important to us. Deadlines, plans and schedules are Western concepts that have been brought into those Thai businesses that deal with Westerners – but as a rule, no Thai in his or her right mind pays any attention to them. If the bus fills up before its scheduled departure time, it leaves. And if the plane’s pilot announces an unspecified delay, nobody is particularly troubled by it. After all, “stuff happens” and we shift ourselves to accommodate – as do those people expecting us at the other end. This spherical focus also allows us to work on many things at once – we hold all tasks as being pretty much equal, and their priority determined by who is asking for them, not by some (to us) arbitrary number on the clock. Because our priorities are relationship-based, we don’t build the same privacy fences around ourselves or our work – we bend and shift and don’t feel the need to be alone in order to concentrate and get something done. Our culture informs us that it’s okay to interrupt others – especially if their lower on the “power” pecking order than we are – so we do not apologize or worry so much. And we expect (and welcome) interruptions to our work by those who are higher in the pecking order.
Our focus in time is rooted in the past, and based on the present. We are an old, traditional, and conservative culture and prefer our old ways of dealing with situations as they occur in the present. We “know” that time is nothing more than a continuous present, which calls us forth to respond in whatever way supports the people and relationships closest to us right now, without worrying too much about the future. After all, our relationships are long-term – lasting not only throughout our lifetimes but perhaps going back generations in the past. And because we are so focused on relationships and how important they are to our well-being, we happily borrow and lend – anything and everything we can – to help those closest to us whether they are family, friends, or close co- workers. After all, we know that as much as we would like to “go it alone,” it is very difficult to succeed at anything without help. Some of our proverbs about borrowing or lending are more about being helpful: “benevolence supports the world,” or “water depends on a boat; a tiger depends on the forest” or even “Have a heart of mercy toward each other.”
Our long-term relationship helps us further focus events in time by thinking strategically whenever we are faced with an interruption or a request for help. Many times, doing a favor for someone is actually the beginning of a lifelong relationship!
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