Things You Still Need to Know About Thai Value: Nurturance (Femininity)
In feminine cultures all over the world, children learn to admire and experience sympathy for the “underdog” or the anti- hero. (The popular “Shrek” movies come to mind).
In her Thai culture, teachers rarely praise individual achievements or academic performance because it’s considered impolite to elevate one student over another.
In her schools, it’s more likely that students cooperate with one another, rather than compete for attention, as friendliness is considered more importance than individual “brilliance” or good grades. As a matter of fact, failing in school is not seen as nearly so important a tragedy as it is in the West.
In a feminine culture like Thailand, boys and girls are raised to deal with their emotions in a similar way – both boys and girls, for example, are “permitted” to cry or express their tender feelings. They are also encouraged to express happiness and warmth – just not too exuberantly! And both boys and girls are discouraged from openly expressing any kind of anger, aggression, or hostility toward anyone – it is seen as a disturbance of peace and harmony, and very bad manners. That “feminine” drive toward harmony and cooperation are also seen in the Thai workplace, where the idea of individual achievement is suppressed to maintain a sense of solidarity and unity. If any conflicts arise, they are not dealt with openly or directly – instead, we Thais tend to avoid arguments altogether – or negotiate and compromise until a solution that works for everybody emerges (meaning that sometimes conflicts take much longer to resolve themselves!)
We would never think to argue loudly, attack or denigrate somebody for their opinion, or make everyone uncomfortable by making a public scene. People who do argue openly, loudly, passionately raising their voices and pounding the table are, to us Thais, embarrassing not only themselves but everybody else as well.
Our feminine culture also expresses itself differently to yours in terms of how our government works and spends its money. We do not spend a large amount of our national income on weapons or arms – but we do spend a tremendous amount of government time talking, negotiating, forming subcommittees of committees to study whether the issue should be studied at all! And don’t let the fact that there have been more than 16 coups d’état in Thailand make you think it’s particularly dangerous here – nearly every single coup, even those involving the military, have been described as “friendly changes in government.”
Our Thai culture tends to value “Working to Live.” To get along with one another. To enjoy family life. To live in harmony with the world, in a quiet, peaceful, and happy way. It’s not a bad thing – it’s just a more “feminine” way of looking at the world.
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